Storm in a teacup

It feels weird to call you a friend, when really all I know of you is your name and your music, however it feels weird to call you a stranger when you know so much of me. It feels weird that one gesture may invoke a thousand feelings, a thousand thoughts. It feels weird that I thought maybe I was just someone that fitted the mould at the time, and was forgotten as fast as I was found. I know now that I made an impact. It feels weird that I could mean something to someone who was almost a stranger. It's a weird situation when you are writing to someone other than your beloved about so many feelings dwelling within you. Truthfully, it feels weird, because I thought I had put down the pen, (or the laptop to be precise) as I had reached the pivotal moment when my life became all I had wanted it to be, to had reached happiness, only to be inspired by someone who had honestly had become a person I once had a fleeting interaction with. Turns out I was wrong about who I am, and how t...

Good evening my lovelies, I am now (almost) all settled in at my new home and after spending a week or so making adjustments and ensuring my comfort, I am back as promised. Things are going well at my end, I am still continuing to enjoy work, I am very much still in a happy, healthy, rewarding relationship and amongst all the chaos I have managed to maintain a healthy diet and create some lovely pieces for my little home. Regardless of all the above, I found myself facing an age old foe today, lonliness . The definition of loneliness is as follows,  Loneliness  is a complex and usually unpleasant emotional response to isolation.  Loneliness  typically includes anxious feelings about a lack of connection or communication with other beings, both in the present and extending into the future. As such,  loneliness  can be felt even when surrounded by other people. Even after spending a long weekend with my beloved and feeling as safe and content as ev...

Good evening my dearest darlings, I'm back in honour of the birthday of our greatest achievements birthday, The NHS is turning 70. I'm here to simply say my thanks. A quick catch up, Right now I'm sat in my bedroom, (in my pants due to this wonderful climate) , next to my favourite flowers, sat upon my new, hand painted vase with all my favourite songs on in the background. I've settled in extremely well in my job. I've met some amazing characters and I've passed my probation. I'm still drinking, albeit more responsibly, I'm still clean and I'm still doing so, so well. Granted, I've not managed to do some of the things I  designed , but I've still had the best spring/summer I can remember in such a long time. I've just signed a new tenancy agreement and paid the deposit to jump back into a life that has terrified me for so long. I'm finally at a place where I can somewhat trust myself to be able to survive, and fucking thrive, in m...

Good morning my darlings, as it's mental health awareness week I figured it's the best time to talk about what's been going on in my world. I hope you are all well, and you've all been taking good care of yourselves. I've managed to get a holiday day booked in (long weekend, yay!) to enjoy the sunshine and to have a breather, so with a day of freedom ahead of me, here we go.. First up, I guess I should give you all some form of update on where I am at. Well my lovely's, I'm in a new job, and I'm actually doing alright at it, I've made some lovely friends already, I've somehow managed to have at least one adventure every week for quite some time now. I got to see Beans On Toast (I know I've told you before, but again CHECK HIM OUT) finally on Saturday (and got unbelievably bollocksed)  I've been on a couple of dates. I've been braver than ever with my attire and I've never felt as fabulous. I've been super kind to my b...

So, I've been in quarantine since Monday, I am now aware of how fucking irritating and irrational tonsils are. (feel free to send flowers ect) I also learnt how inconvenient it is to have a history of overdosing, when it's 2:30AM, you are in agony, the pharmaceuticals are hidden and your sisters asleep, but we live and learn! I've decided to come back and fill you all in on my little life with some of my free time. So here we go again,  Live, from the house of toddlers, puppies and tonsillitis I have an announcement.. I AM FUCKING HAPPY. Beautifully, simplistically, wholly, gloriously fucking happy. I've been apprehensive about broadcasting this, fearing that it would become the catalyst for that ever waiting cloud to reappear, but for a while now I've remained safe. I've had 'normal people blues' of course but no depression, no anxiety, just the average range of emotions and thoughts. Usually something like this would have been accompanied...

I really hate to post art without credit to the author but cannot find any back info, this this is something I found on artidote that speaks to me currently 5:00 WED 7 MAR Why is it you whisper, when you really need to yell? Well, it’s my day off, I have no internet, it has been a fucking horrendous week, and I am just about ready to give up on the day. I have had approx. 4 hours sleep and my body will not allow me anymore. So here I am, tapping away at a word doc, to copy and paste when I get to an area with my beloved internet connection. 8:00 WED 7 MAR …Struggling to collect my thoughts into one coherent place. Thus writing deleted. Will resume after a brew. 10:00 WED 7 MAR I’m a little bit sad, a little bit mad, but all round glad. It’s a funny old thing, dating. The breakup to an almost relationship leaves you with a sense of loss that you can’t comprehend. You weren’t ever together, but you thought it was headed that way. It’s a sense of grief for ...