Today was a good day.

Happy (almost) New Year folks.

So, recently I've been struggling to write. I've not known how to translate all my little thoughts on to one, coherent post without coming across as too 'bluesy,' truth being I've been pretty fucking good recently and I get a nonsensical stab of guilt for writing about depression when I'm not in a depressive period. Crackers, I know. Any whoooooo, here we go..

Today was a good day. I woke with a clear head. I had a plan for the day ahead. I had my books next to me in case I needed inspiration. Granted, I got a little kick of anxiety upon discovering my friend (whom I had planned to meet in the afternoon, so I could get round to the house and get cracking) had actually been knocking around in the pub for two hours before I had even woke. My plans got readjusted, and with them, so did I. See, Abigail has not had it easy with me, I have blown her off and put her in the backseat many, many times for alcohol and the new flavour of the month. She has somehow, miraculously, stuck by my side and forgiven me. Since being discharged she has been my rock, and in a bid to enjoy sobriety she had agreed to come pottery painting with me and dodge all premises that sell alcohol.

She and my sister went off for a cuppa or something (I'm not the most observant in a morning) and left me to get myself ready. A cuppa and a ciggie or two later I was ready. My eyeliner wasn't a black smudge for once, my hair had fallen in an almost attractive wave and I was in my favourite LBS (lil' black shirt) I felt like the shit. Taxi rung and plans made we were off! £13 lighter in cab fares, we discovered the cafe wasn't open. Apparently, Facebook pages aren't always correct. Abi saved the day and found a lovely lil' ceramic cafe on Eccy Road that was open till five. (Shout out to Fired Arts, I highly recommend you check them out!) Unwilling to spend any more money on taxis we jumped on the next bus and redirected.

Again, upon entering the shop anxiety kicked in. What if my teapot came out looking like a five year old's attempt at finger painting? I know fuck all about pottery painting. Luckily the shop is run by the cutest little lady who was more than happy to explain it all to us. At first my mind was blank, being me I had picked the biggest fucking teapot available and now I had no idea how to illustrate it. Abi had the cutest lil' piggy bank to decorate and I did my usual 'fuck, picked the wrong thing' but brew ordered, I calmed. Picked out lovely green tones and began to paint. As usual the painting soothed me. Where I had started shaky and unsure, I ended in a state of peace I only obtain from crafting. We both actually surprised ourselves. We had made really fucking cute creations and the whole thing cost about £25. (100% I will be returning, often) 

Onwards and upwards, we were off to see my beautiful boy. See, recently I had to rehome my dog and as heartbreaking as it was, he's gone to the most wonderful family. Who love him as much as I do, send pupdates, and today Abigail took me to take him for a walk. Let me tell ya, there is nothing as rewarding on this planet than seeing your lil boy calm, well behaved and spoilt beyond belief. I was terrified he wouldn't remember me if I'm honest. Walking through the door it was evident that he certainly hadn't. Lil T was all over me. After all the puppy kisses and cuddles we got him dressed for the outside world and took him to the park. Granted, leaving him again was a little heart wrenching, especially so as he was sat staring out the window, but overall the experience of seeing him in his home so happy was beautiful.

I got home to another book delivery (Uncaged Wallflower - Jennae Cecelia & I Hope This Reaches Her In Time, both amazing poetry books that are worth a read) and to dye my hair. Renewed and refreshed I feel so at one with myself.

I guess this post is to show that not everyday with depression is bad, and that to say just over a week ago I wanted to be dead, its pretty fucking sick to be in such a good place. 

- To Abigail, thank you and I fucking love you.
- If you wanna check Fired Arts (you really, really should. Fridays they have wine and takeaway nights..) http://www.firedarts.co.uk/

I hope you all take note of your good days, and know more are coming.
As always, soph. X